“Alicia, if I had been born in China, I would have been given up for adoption.” This truth my husband spoke to me a couple weeks ago took my breath away. But it is just that, it is truth.
Eric was born with partial hearing loss and later he lost his hearing completely. By many standards, he was imperfect. Eric wore inner ear hearing aids and one day, at age 3, he lost his hearing completely. At age 4 he had a cochlear implant, allowing him to hear when wearing his hearing aid. He is now in his 6th year teaching at a local high school and is working towards a job as a principal.
His parent’s fought for him every step of the way. They worked to give him every advantage that they could and never looked back; they drove him out of state to doctor’s appointments; they provided speech therapy for him and worked with him non stop on his pronunciation of words. He was perfect for their family. And I can’t imagine life without this man by my side.
It was this conversation, this truth, that helped us make our final decision about what our adoption would look like. We want to fight for a child in China. We want to come alongside them and give them every advantage that we can.
To us, the “perfect” child doesn’t mean one without physical disabilities, it means the one that God has picked out for us. It doesn’t mean the one who doesn’t need extra medical care, it means the one that God has called us to love and call the final piece of our family.
When talking about God’s love for us, I often describe it as an even greater love than than my love for my daughters. When my Emma, my oldest, was born, it was as though there was a whole room in my heart, that I didn’t even know was there, and that room was overwhelmingly filled with love for her. And God feels that, and so much more, about each of us. And He has now called me to feel that for a child that I don’t give birth to. A child that He has chosen to add to our family in a different and unique way. And, because it is all a part of his plan, it is perfect. Not without struggles, fear, and pain. Not ideal or easy. Yet, perfect.