Today I went online to our adoption agency’s website.. My plan was to start filling out our application.
Eric and I have felt called to adopt a child from Haiti and it is finally the time to take the steps to move forward. We have both been at complete peace since deciding on Haiti as our country and haven’t looked back…until now.
Part way through the pre-application, a notice comes up that Haiti is no longer taking applications for adoption at this point.
Um. What? Say that again. I immediately felt sick to my stomach…fear started to creep in.
Had we missed our window? Did we take to long to apply? Is our child going to sit in an orphanage forever because of us??
But, all along, I have felt at complete peace with the timing of every decision we have made. There are truths I have held on to, as promises, that keep me from stressing about the timeline, the planning…they allow me to let go.
So, today, that is what I had to remind myself…those truths are still my truths…
Outside of completely ignoring our call to adopt, there is nothing we can do that will ever make us miss out on the child God has for us.
His timing is PERFECT.
It’s not about me, it’s about trusting the call God has placed on our lives, and taking each step forward as He calls us to do so.
All along we have said, once summer vacation starts, we will dive into the application process. Today was the first day we could do that. So, I have to trust the plan He has for me! And for our child! Maybe its Haiti, maybe it’s not. Maybe we have to wait until Haiti accepts applications again? Maybe Haiti will lead us to some where else?
I’m sure this won’t be the first setback, the first thing that delays the process, and that’s ok. God has His hands in this, He is in control, so I don’t have to be. And that is where the peace comes from.
So tonight, as I lay here, sleepless, I pray for our child, I pray for direction, I pray for wisdom.
And that is where I leave it. That is the best place to leave it. With Him.